Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
