Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
