You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
