I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
