Christians are straight up FREAKS
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
