nut hugger
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
handjob tips. give me some.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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