I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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