Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
