i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
