your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
