The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
