Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
