grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
where are my pants?
in the oven.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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