Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
