New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
