I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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