he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize