i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think your dad took our porno
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
