you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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