a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just gift wrapped bread.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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