just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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