Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
