Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
