I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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