thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
