Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
