he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
