I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
