We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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