Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
