Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
