I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
