I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
accomplished twins. life is a go
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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