also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
