Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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