Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
my liver is dry heaving
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
