I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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