So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
