Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
