apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
