i dont even know how to be here
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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