Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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