yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
