Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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