i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
