I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
