I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
