you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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