I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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