I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
