I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I am midnight drunk by noon
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
