My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I want to fling myself into the sun
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
