So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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