Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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