guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
