Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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