what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
