I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
