I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
