My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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