I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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